There are those songs about grief and loss such as:
Drink a Beer by Luke Bryan
If I Die Young by The Band Perry
Over You by Miranda Lambert
Brendan's Death Song by Red Hot Chili Peppers
I'll Be Missin You by P Diddy
And obviously many more. All these songs can hit a nerve when I listen to them, but it's also amazing how my mind can twist other songs to be about loss. I don't know if other people who have experienced loss would say the same thing or not, but I'm sure it's fairly common. Any type of experience that held value in your life or made an impact would likely be influenced or felt when listening to a song that reminds you of that time.
When I listen to Photograph by Ed Sheeran I relate everything to Derek.
"So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, holding me closer til our eyes meet - you won't ever be alone..." I picture Derek telling me this, reminding me I'm not alone because he is here with me still, even though it's in a different way. It also works because we have so many pictures and I look at them often, remembering the past.
"I swear it will get easier, remember that with every piece of you" is almost like Derek giving me advice, and telling me to keep pushing through. I'm not saying it has gotten easier but it has definitely changed as time has passed.
"We keep this love in a photograph, we made these memories for ourselves" makes me think of all the memories I have with him.
"Wait for me to come home" makes me think of home (which to me is us together) and how one day we will all be reunited.
When I listen to most Taylor Swift songs (since she has so many about heartbreak and sadness) I often think of Derek too.
The Moment I Knew already gets me with its title. Then the beginning:
"You should've been there, you should've burst through the door with that baby I'm right here smile. And it would've felt like a million little shining stars had just aligned. And I would've been so happy" makes me think of how amazing it would be for Derek to walk through the door and be back here with us, but also of how it would have to be magic for that to even happen, like all the stars aligning.
"Now I just wanna be alone but your close friends always seem to know when there's something really wrong" makes me think of how Derek's friends have been so caring and helpful since he passed. How they've tried their best to step in as protective brothers and watch over me.
"And there in the bathroom I try not to fall apart and the sinking feeling starts as I say hopelessly 'he said he'd be here'" relates to how every holiday/event/momentous occasion he should have been here for. How I could've never imagined birthdays where I didn't see or hear from him.
"And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show" is the part of the song where I start balling (if I wasn't already). I remember listening to this song in lead up to turning 21... Everyone kept asking if I was excited because I'd be legal in the States and how it was such a big year.. But birthdays and holidays don't excite me because Derek is missing, and turning 21 was more of a sad day because I spent it thinking about him. That is how life has felt to my family for the last five years. No matter what we do there is always a piece missing... Always someone we are unable to share our experiences with and it has changed the whole dynamic. I'm sure many people can relate to this part even on a simpler level such as a loved one missing an important event that you really wanted them to be at.
I'll spare the excessive quotes for the next T-Swift song, but I'd highly recommend for those interested to go listen to these if you haven't heard them.
Long Live is a fun little song. I always liked it before but one part always makes me cry since losing Derek.
"Can you take a moment, promise me this. That you'll stand by me forever but if God forbid fate should step in and force us into a goodbye, if you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name. Tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how I hope they shine. Long live the walls we crashed through, I had the time of my life with you." I picture all that we've been through, all the battles we faced together or all the times he supported me. I imagine him saying this part, asking me to talk about him and share the stories whether to friends, strangers, or one day my own kids.
These are just a few examples. For those who like to tease me when I cry at random or silly things - I'm ok with it. But my life has changed in a way where things that I see or hear affect me now on a deeper level. Everything I do seems to relate back to Derek and what I've been through. Every song I hear or sad scene in a movie reminds me of that or makes me empathize for the person who is going through it now (whether real or fictional). Even parts that seem unrelated to you can hold a deeper meaning to me now.